Mr Simon

2007-05-13T15:13:00.000-07:00

a few pics

2005-10-29T08:44:00.000-07:00

red lights are merely decoration

the view from the church in almora

one of the cells in almora

The infamous fishing with electric generator trip!
(the people in the river are there to catch their poor lifeless bodies as they float down stream!)

water, sadly will never taste quite this clean again...
i will try and put more pics on but my internet is just so painfully slow that it makes me weep

PS THE NEW BLOG IS AT www.gapyearsforever.blogspot.com

THE ULTIMATE... THE END

2005-04-26T15:55:00.000-07:00

bit odd writing the final blog... was asked if i was gonna keep it going this year and maybe forever... but i think not mainly because i'm lazy
the flight back was fine although we were a full 20kg over the weight limit! not good. so we basically prayed silently the whole way there and the people at the check in didn't say a word about it (even though they fined the guy in front!). dad was at the airport to pick me up (see last blog)... which is always a good thing and all was well.
now it's kinda odd to be back... but mainly because it feels completely normal and i was expecting it to be really weird. it feels like ages ago that india happened and in some ways it all just feels like a long dream (in which I could take loads of photos and could write emails… a very vivid dream evidently). Well home has completely changed, mum and dad have purchased a new kettle (the madness) and the dog is about 8 time the size from when i left and they've put the house on the market.
just wanted to say thank you really to all the people who emailed/wrote letters/prayed for us in the time we were away i think that we all learned alot from our time in india (although it wasn't always easy i must admit but i've read so many of those annoying books about life recently to know that thats probably a good thing).

Anyway cheers for following the journey, si x

PS Ben wares women’s undergarments.

PENultimate!

2005-04-17T15:24:00.000-07:00

Hello.

had bacon this morning! indeed a time for celebration!

well didne think i'd still be blogging at this stage... but hay what the tiny bald man... that's what i always say. arrived in delhi yesterday was a 20 hour train journey on a like the nicest train ever(by indian standards) had AirCon and Loads of food and beds and wasn't too bad at all really. today we saw about 1000 pastors, well about 15 (it's the regional pastors meeting so there all here) was really cool to see the pastors that we'd met on our travels again. a simdge surreal. the birds (oh sorry i mean girls, damn Political Correctness) were here too, which was rad. and we're off shopping for small crappy presents soon (on that note message to Dave Day- did you still want me to pick up those ladies summer dresses that you ordered... hope i got your sizes right).

sad to go but looking forward to seeing you all after tuesday... and hearing all the goss...

love Simon

PS
TUNE IN FOR THE FINAL BLOG (i can hear all the crying from india) IN ABOUT A WEEK WHEN I'LL TELL YOU ALL BEN'S SECRETS... AND OTHER STUFF THATS MILDLY INTERESTING>>>>> THE COUNT DOWN HAS BEGUN

also if anyone sees my dad can you tell him that i need to be picked up on the tuesday and not the wednesday... kinda told him the wrong day(what a div)... also can you tell him to check his email once in a while. also while i remember it's vital that he doesn't forget t
*some text missing*

Yaks, hair cuts and all that jazz...

2005-04-11T09:06:00.000-07:00

Lo All (I have faith that it’s not just my mum that reads this) hope all is well in Old Blighty what with royal weddings and all.
Well me and benjy got back from Sikkim yesterday (apparently the Switzerland of india! – an interesting image I think you’ll agree). It’s a small state really near the boarder with China, Nepal and Bhutan so it’s got quite a lot of Chinese influence (food, architecture, people look quite Chinese too). parts have only just been opened up for tourists and we had to get all these special permits and have our passports stamped (apparently often it takes a long time but Daniel knew people on the inside (the infamous ‘believers’) so we got them really quick and easily. see said the church is like the mafia, well sort of.) so that was cool. Went to one lake place which was all snowy and we got a yak ride around the lake and then me and ben decided that as we had no change of clothes and it was freezing cold that it’d be a great idea to slide down lovely snow and get our clothes all wet and get really really cold.
On the way back from Sikkim we went to back to the lush river in Rongchong(? - Think that’s my own spelling), where we had the youth retreat, to have a swim in the crystal clear waters and frolic around. Was all good apart from we had an audience of about 8 boys/men in very small pants (indeed it was the stuff of nightmares) who watched our every move for the entire duration of our stay. Quite funny whenever we go somewhere where there’s rocks and sticks and water and mud and stuff ben gets all excited and will say something like “(in excited, eager voice) wow, rocks and sticks! Lets get the sticks and hit those rocks.” So I say “Ben what are you doing? your almost old enough to… drive a commercial vehicle!” but then sure enough within 10 minutes or so I’m there next to ben hitting rocks with sticks like the best of them. Simple things…
So I get back home and on my bed “Feet-Huh” hand done her business, and a lot of it too. If your wondering who “Feet-Huh” is it’s the cat that turns up everyday to steal food from daniels house. And yes “Feet-Huh” is my and bens name for it… long story. Anyway she’s just had kittens (a little boy-Sue and two girls Sparky and Sharky… we been experimenting with non-standard names. I mean we might as well while we have the chance? I would advise against getting me to name anyone… at all. Ever.)
later we went to have hair cuts. It was only like the best hair cut ever… the guy gently caressed each hair individually and cut each hair according to its own personality (the lines are perfect…) and then he washed my hair and gave me a head and back massage. all for only Rs. 30 each (less than 40p!) ben got a cool 50’s American side parting (“sho-biddy-she-bop” comes to mind) and I got a kinda slightly side partingy short cut (easily rectified back home with some water and 2 or 3 hand combs (as in combs with the hand not combs made with hands or combs that are made for hands for that matter… just thought I’d try and clear up any confusion caused there.) anyway this was easily put it back to it’s normal mode aka general fluff). Well worth it.
Full on tropical storm yesterday plus there were 4 massive spiders in the bath room… one was amazing it was easily bigger than the palm of my hand (no exaggeration we have video evidence and everything) so that was nice.

Just generally… everything’s well, very hot and sweaty now… looking forward to returning… but will miss this place. Going to a conference this week for three days (about 9 hours of seminars a day!) should be good as long as the people aren’t too shouty (which I have a slight inclining they will be, oh dear.)

Love and kisses and all that jazz...
Simon x x x y z

Yack Madness

2005-04-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

well suddenly everythings got a bit busy... shot blog today

were meant to be going to darjeeling today but ben has big stomach problems so a big trip's probably not a great idea... think we're gonna go tommorow instead now (and we're gonna see mount everest on the way and then sneak across the nepal boarder on the way back) then the next day (and for the next 2) days were off to sikkim which aparently is like the switzerland of india (certainly and interesting image!) and we're gonna have a yack ride! madness. they keep giving us yack milk sweets! yes that's right sweets made from yacks milk! and they take about an hour to eat and they taste like a cross between card and wood. quite fun.

went to a tea factory the otherday, really interesting (i know all about tea now... exciting fact... they pick tea about every 7or8 days for 10 months of the year... madness!) i know all the grades of tea and everything... well almost.

hope all is good in blighty (wow exciting fact that i learnt... -i love exciting facts- in hindi england is called blighty! therefore maybe, perhaps thats where we get the word from? raj people saying "i'm going back to blighty" etc. cool)

electric

2005-04-01T11:03:00.000-08:00

Does anybody know what “shea butter” is? I got sent to from my lovly mother for my birthday… it’s yellow in a metal small pot and when I read the ingredients it says shea butter! And directions only says “melt in hands before applying!”. Well it doesn’t taste that good and I don’t think it does your hair much good (did some preliminary experiments…) please tell me if you know??

Sorry haven’t been online for a while Ben broke 2 fingers (the little one on each hand.) he was playing finger puppets with the children and in the story the two smallest fingers from each hand (one playing the evil lord zorgot and the other playing a scaffold pole called peter) were having a fight in the gap between the door and the wall (the bit by the hinges) and someone walked through the door… so we’ve been in and out of hospital twice (once for each finger, yes it happened twice!)*
So what has happened other than fingers and shea butter i hear you cry…? Well we just got back from the youth retreat yesterday which was really fun. It was in the mountains. We stayed in a church at the top of a very steep hill (we were told by Daniel that Dave Day said “next time he should build the church at the bottom of the hill”-it’s funny that we get told about people from Bristol, what they said and did, all the time) anyway it was like the perfect rural village with very rustic houses with loads of fruit trees and animals. I kept thinking that it’d be fun to live there for a year. Just to read and sit and grow a massive beard and shout and chuck stones and rocks at people that walked on your land-ahhhh the dream life.
Me and benjy kinda ran the thing which was a little odd as most of them where older than us… but I don’t think they minded. So we just stole a load of lessons from books and did some of the activities that we had done already on the m68 and then when down to the river to swim in the crystal clear, cool, fresh, mountain water and frolic in the waterfalls in the mid day heat (and yes it was as lush as it sounds…!). on the second day we went fishing which involved taking a generator down to the river, firing it up and pumping hundreds of volts through the water to kill anything with in a 10 metre radius... then you just have to pick up their dead bodies! certianly an effective technique i think you'll agree. the youth were really cool and many spoke in English to us… the ones that didn’t just smiled a lot. (we’ve got some good photos)
We went to the army base again (I’m not sure if I’ve said about this already?) anyway we do a cell on the base, in the officers part and have to sneak in (being foreigners we could well be spies). We met a guy there who was related to one of the officers who had been to England… he told us that he had worked in Kent and also a city called ‘Bristol’ he had worked for AXA Insurance and they had an office in Bristol near UWE and Sainsbury’s! mad hay!
Did the Easter message on Sunday which was fun but a lot of hard work (was an hour long message). Luckily was sent those “…for everyone” books just in time (thanks Richie and Norm) so I had the second part of Matthew and John to write it from. I split the time into 3 sections and basically did three talks explaining 3 of the significant things that happened as a result of the resurrection (said the main points in Nepali-went down well) was really interesting to read and research it all but it was really hard work. I think people enjoyed it.
Madness only 20 days left now! And about 1,000,000 things to do for my graphics (interview on the 21st!-get back at 10pm on the 20th!)

Missing you all, Simon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

*April fool. (for the gullible)

Profound Thought Of The Day

2005-03-24T09:47:00.001-08:00

silence can not be misquoted.

Pastor Cool

2005-03-22T11:55:00.000-08:00

morning,

day 63! wow times going fast...
well we've been having fun (although we think we may have lost barnabus somewhere.) i'll try give you a quick run down off all thats been going on in no particular order...

we had a guest preacher on sunday at church his name was pastor (which is quite an unusual first name i'll think you'll agree) thomas and he was from Malawi (i think thats how you spell it), which i always thought was near new zealand but it turns out it's in africa (perhaps there's two, i mean it must be quite hard to keep thinking of new names for countries.) anyway he was really good (very active and quite inspiring too) and we had a good chat to him at the end and he came back for lunch. i think he was the hippest pastor i've ever met (he had an all black suit with a white collar and tie plus his pencil thin mustache to finish the look. cool huh). the whole thing reminds me of when dad (aka rich/ricky/rickardo) tells me that the church is a bit like the mafia... but i just want to say it certainly is not and i have no connection with any such illegal organizations and i'm saying this of my own will and...

had a baptism yesterday so 11 of us (and 2 more a bit later) packed ourselves into a rickshaw (not one of the two-seater ones obviously) and drove for 30mins out to a big river to where the foothills start. was good although we had to be quick because although strictly it's not illegal they can get in a lot of legal trouble for baptizing people. if you confused don't worry so am i?! (apparently daniel was wondering if we should go or not as we whities tend to attract alot of unwanted attention) anyway we went and it was all fine. it's was quite funny when half way through daniel said... "this girl wants to change her name today... do you have any ideas?!?" apparently they often have hindu names so when the become christian they change them... me and ben had no idea (i mean how do you name someone you've met for about 2 mins! madness) so thay said how about a name that begins with the letter P? so me and ben racked our brains "Pam" "Pertulia" "peter-oh no sorry thats a boys name" "Phyllis" "Pat" i mean it's hardly the greatest selection of names under the sun. anyway ruth had the idea of lydia, which i think is quite a cool name so lydia it was. as easy as that! name changed. well done ruth (although she did technically cheat, i don't see any P in lydia!) on the way back we past a crash that had obviously just happened (we passed another one with about 6 cars in it on the way too) a constant reminder of how dangerous the roads really are.

had a cell yesterday and i preached on faith... did the story of walking on water (mostly stolen from the John Ortenburg book) but it went really well. i tried to use ALOT less notes (previously had been writing out every point, and sub points and everything i wanted to say) which i was a bit worried about, but it was fine. right across from the house we were in was a hindu festival tent which was blaring out music (sounded like german folk songs with bollywood style singing on top, yes very odd). at the end ben and i had to use all our will power not to start dancing... quite a catchy tune you know.

we have been slightly home sick recently and missing bacon and people and bacon quite alot, but i think we feel much better now and now i think we'll be quite sad to leave... we've been getting on well with daniel and ruth (although i think we may have turned daniel slightly insane). if we just take breakfast as an example we put cups of water on his hands on the table (so he couldn't move them without spilling water everywhere!) and one conversation went like this
us "so how did they decide who was going where? (the boys and girls teams)"
daniel "i don't know?"
us "maybe they sent us here because the girls are rubbish... and abbys still a hindu?"
daniel's face was certainly a picture... and ben didn't stop laughing for about 7 and a half minutes. (daniel found it funny to just took a minute...) i'm sure we've broken all the rules about culture and everything (sorry bcf... no m68 team in india next year then. perhaps you could add a new rule don't tell people that other m68ers are hindus?) we've been very careful really (although it probably doesn't sound like it) but honestly we're very careful who we bully and take advantage of and which rules to break and where.

on a more personal note (for ben, whos here btw.)... ben's discovered that he has two amazing talents... actually i don't know if amazing quite the right word... probably more unique... firstly he tends to draw out mens feminine side... they love him! it's mad they always grab his leg, hay him and often can be caught looking lovingly into his eyes. really very funny. when he gets back ask him about suresh! (thats all i can say!) also whenever bens around women start breast feeding! in meetings and just generally on trains and in the street who every bens sat next to or opposite to or just generally in the same room as will just grab the nearest child and stick him/her on. it's fun to watch his pain. he told me yesterday he thinks he's found his calling.

lots of love simon (and ben)

ps there's a lizard on the computer and ben's been sleep talking again apparently there's "two books" "they're in pairs" "there coming this way"! i was hoping for something exciting but all i got was books.

Pumped

2005-03-20T19:21:00.000-08:00

I DID THIS A FEW DAYS AGO BUT THE INTERNETS BEEN PLAYING UP>>>>

hello, greetings, etc,

well the last few days have been fairly unbusy. we've just been getting into a routine really...
goes something like...
8:00-Whose line is it anyway (they have cable!)
8:30-Friends
then check the paper for todays films (today its black hawk down at 11:30 and rumble in the bronx 9:00) then we base the rest of our day around that. (oh sooooo sad!) i like to flick between BBC news and CNN (cos i'm odd and i love the news, sometime i watch both just to get the different opinions! oh dear)
in the rest of the day i do some graphics (form some stupid reason i said on my uni applications that i'd be doing some work out here... should have really thought that one out)and prepare my talks which is quite fun.

ok so other than the routine we've been to a few cells and we had church on sunday. also i think it was saturday we asked daniel if we could go for a walk because we were getting a tad stuffy in the house (if i'm asking for walks you know it's got REALLY bad!)

anyway went to this park it was really surreal there were two types groups there firstly about loads of couples all dotted around all sitting on motorbikes and looking forlornly at each other... then the second sort consists of packs of boys who just strut around looking hip. then we walked over to the lake/pond to see someone had a pump and was pumping out all the water while his family and friends picked up the fishes that were left flapping around in the mud (now that's what i call cheating!)

well just had a pause for breakfast which was nice, although we were interrupted by about 4 big burly men who were bringing ben* his full weight training kit! i mean i'm no massive pile of steaming raw muscle but that is fairly funny. so expect a different ben home (one that eats nails and likes to smash bricks over his head just to show that he's a man! gurrr!)

_____________________________.http//.nEOn

today i'm gonna talk about marriage (very random topic i here you cry-it's not here) i'll explain...

we'll firstly it's done quite differently here... i'll explain that later...

but the subject seems to come up in conversation with amazing frequency... we get asked who we are sending valentine cards too and who we think we will marry and if there's anyone who's interested in us and whether there's anyone's parents who wants to marry their daughter off to us! (to which we answer... "oh yes, were fighting them off daily"... maybe that's why ben's planning on getting so pumped) infact one of the last thing which sarah (pastor josephs wife) said to me before i left was come back with you wife! (which came as quite a shock to me as i didn't even know that i had one...)

anyway they think about the whole subject quite differently here. firstly their mostly arranged (and sometimes forced-very rarely within the church though). either the parents or the pastor arrange the marriage and the two parties have generally never met, are not allowed to talk in private and generally dont talk at all (although in almora joseph said that they let them talk on the phone).

in non christian marriages daniel told us that about 95% involve a dowry (don't have a clue how to spell that) which is when the brides family pay money to the grooms. it'll illegal but people still do it. (although as daniel pointed out in some ways we do have the same in that the brides family are meant to pay for the wedding?) sometimes the whole arrangement get quite bad in that if the family don't pay it all they'll torture the bride and often she'll commit suicide! then that leaves the grooms parents free to marry him off again and collect another dowry. not good. anyway in the church they do it quite differently and although the brides family often do give a gift it's not nearly as strict.

there's alot more commitment between married couples here and its rare to have a divorce (i think partly because there's alot of social pressure). what really interested me was that at the start i thought the whole thing was a really bad way of working but i can kind of so that if it's done by the right people for the right reasons it can work really well. as boys and girls here don't really mix at all thay'd probably make a right mess of choosing someone. plus the marriages i've seen seem to work just as well as any i've seen in the west. neil said that in the west we start with love and work on commitment and here thay do it the other way around. and it seems to work.

think i'm happy doing it the western way but it's really interesting to see.

anyway all is good here,
missing you all, simon. xx

PS *disclaimer: ben reads these before i send them (you should see the unedited versions).

there was a bunker=shut the door (hindi)

2005-03-11T22:57:00.000-08:00

Try putting ginger and cardamom (and sugar too) in your tea, tastes really nice. (that’s what they do, they call it chi)

Rest of the birthday was really random, had some people from the church come over (most of whom I’d met at most once!) and we all sat around and talked… sort of. Then they brought out a cake (with my name SIMON ROBERETS on it and an 18th birthday candle) a man who was in the army did a speech (met him once for literally 2 mins) and everyone sang “happy birthday” while the army man fed me the cake! Very surreal! Then some people gave presents (really nice of them! All good-although one was slighty odd… a picture of a white ginger boy in a pin stipe suit! random) then we ate loads of curry. Me and Ben ate with our hands (like they do in almora) then we realized that everyone else was using spoons… think we’ll have to convert back (and we were so enjoying getting all messy). Then after food everyone left as quickly as they had appeared. Don’t think I’m ever gonna forget this one.

Been doing lot of talks recently… we went up to the mountains the other day and went to a really mental small church. They were mostly exhindus who work picking tea, the church was in someone’s house on the side of the mountain. ben preached for 45min on the power of god (looking at genesis and all the power that contained in it-lots of facts- then he did some modern day stories) and then I preached for 45 on the need for transformation (in our lives and in the world and how they relate etc). It was really cool they were all really enthusiastic and nodding and saying “praise god” and gasping everytime we said something they liked/agreed with. Really funny. Cool but funny.

____________________________________http.//.nEOn

so what does india smell like I hear you cry…

simple answer… everything.
Some places smell like curry, some like dust and mud, some really fresh and clean (in the mountains) and some like rubbish (they don’t have dust/trash carts) and some places like burning rubbish (they don’t have dust/trash carts). Some places smell like sewers (train stations, because the toilets empty directly onto the track, and the trains stop for a loooooong time in the stations.) and some places smell like pollution.

But most of the time it all mixes together and it all just smells quite fruity. Doesn’t sound all that nice but it’s not all that noticeable (except for the train stations.)

simon x

Thursday

2005-03-10T14:25:00.000-08:00

hello,

IT'S MY favorite story... once there lived a boy called david who hated 'b' (like BIRTHDAY if you didn't know what a word that began with the letter 'b' looked like!) he had therapy and TODAY he's ok and likes to sing songs with the word "shoe" in them. the end.

(don't know if you knoticed but there was a secret code(secretly hidden in code) somewhere secretly hidden in that passage. your clue:it's a very large case! look if your really that stupid... LOOK FOR THE BIG LETTERS!)

thankyou to few who remembered! shoutouts to mum and dad, ben, lucie and abby, elle ryde, the edbrooke clan and daniel and ruth (our host's). here's the worlds smallest violin...etc (don't worry send your letters of appology to "Simon's House, Dusty Road, India")

love Simon :(

PS ben's been eaten by a spider. bit annoying.

it's ok i've got a plan.
please send a medium sized net, 10 dancing girls, and some bacon(for me)

PSS i'm gonna really milk this for all it's worth.

poems, 4 million people and bacon

2005-03-07T13:09:00.000-08:00

hello i've written a poem...

india is nice
la la la la la
nice like bacon
me me me me mo
ummmmmm bacon (x18)

very postmodern?! or is it! it means alot to me... so you have to accept my views even if you disagree and think that i'm wasting my time.

sorry been spending to much time thinking... plus the internet is about as fun a sitting on a spike. been trying to load up hotmail for about 2 hours now... (the definition of madness: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.) not fun

went to 2 church services yesterday...
we introduced ourselves by interviewing each other and then i spoke on transformation (i think i learn far more (and get way more challenged) from teaching others than being taught-it's horrible to admit gareth's right!) went well. the second church was amazing, it was really tiny and the building was made of bamboo, with chickens and the such running around out side. cool hay.

well thought i'd introduce a new feature to my blog...

i'll call it somthing crazy and modern like "_HYPE_INFO_" or "nEOn" or perhaps "/RAD@INDIA\"! (otherwise the youth may not find it interesting!!! their 4 second memory spans and inability to understand any words that aren't "down with the kids" would inhibit their ability to read it! very serious you know!)

anyway i'll talk about things that aren't specific to certain days, just general to the whole trip...

>>>>>>>ENGAGE TRANSMISSION<<<<<<<

___________________________________http.//.nEOn

good morning space travelers...

2dy i'm gona tlk abt da chrch @india (or self contained god units as we prefer)

2B Xposed in 3 modules
>>>>realityisation
>>>>destination
>>>>rehydration

(cor it making me tired!-think i'll switch back to the equally surreal world of the normal blog style. if that that made you completely lost... your lucky!)

well the church is growing really fast. last time they did an official count about 5% said they were christian, but apparently the government recently we saying that 22.6% are now christian (which is crazy!) i think the government were talking about banning conversion though?! not so good after all!

most christian are in the south (there's quite a big divide here between north and south) but the church in the north is also growing fast.

basically all the major religions (and quite a few extras) are represented... i'll talk about that another day. they find it very odd when we say in england most people don't believe anything.

there seems to be alot of southern USA Pentecostal christian influence in some churches (yes you can tell!). which doesn't always sit the comfortably with me... but i guess it works for them??? (neil was telling me about a man who used to punch people when he was praying for them and amazing miracles happened! to quote a famous film "the lord works in mysterious ways!"-blues brothers!) a few weeks ago a preacher came over from america and 4 million people turned up! (yes, that's right more people than live in the whole of manchester) it's like that over here.

also they place alot of trust and power in the pastor and their leaders (although to a lesser extent in the churches we've stayed at). which is fine as long as the pastor is good. although the way it's run doesn't sit all that comfortably with me i can see it works here (it's defiantly a "modern" society, they really look for a leader figure and when they find one it seems that he's always seen as right.)

there's is alot more emphasis on reading the bible and praying here which i actually really like (i don't do nearly enough of, i can read books about it but not do it that well). pastor Jay told me that if you read the bible and pray then god will speak to you and show you amazing things. which i thought was really cool and i've been doing it, really enjoying it and he (god) has! cool hay.(although not in a blinging light, voice from heaven type way. alot more subtle. anyway i won't go into it now) perhaps that'll be the biggest thing i'll take from this experience? who knows.

anyway thats all i can think of at the moment.

>>>>>>>>>>CEASE TRANSMISSION<<<<<<<<<<<<

hope all is well, missing you all,

Simon xxx

106... is the magic number

2005-03-05T15:33:00.000-08:00

106... is the magic number. but why? i'll tell you later! wohaha

thankyou for the chocolate... how do you know?? mark 6:42 "and they all ate and were satisfied" i'll come back to this subject later.

right so could be a bit of an epic today... haven't done my blog in ages and loads has happened. if you cant be bothered to read just read a few random words or guess what's been happening or get someone you dont like to read it and tell you the highlights (have i said that before, forgot??!)

some suggested music...
chocolate-snow patrol
you sexy thing-hot chocolate
the sweetness-jimmy eat world

Ben and i (marvel an the grammar! that about all your gonna get.) ARRIVED IN SILIGURI yesterday (which is in west bengal, near darjiling(yes that is the proper spelling)-tea, mountains etc). we got here fresh from our 32 hour train journey only 2 hours late (we were later told that sometimes it runs upto 20 or 30 hours behind which isn't that fun.) we were told many a horror story before our departure of the terrors of this particular train and that we probably wouldn't be all that enjoyable... so come with me on a moving story (really bad joke sorry) from (almora to) delhi to siliguri.

well we left at 5 in the morning (said good bye to neil-i'll get back to that later...) traveling for about 5 mins when suresh (our traveling companion/assasin/entertainer-who would randomly sing/shout worship songs at the top of his voice and then start praying but that's only when he wan't arguing with random train guards! cool guy!) asked if we had the tickets we (well i) said no? we gave them to you? (ben agreed with me) well anyway to cut a long story short we hadn't given them to him! oh dear not a good start! saw two elephants walking down the road on the way... very cool.

so we got to that station waited for the train (we were in coach "sleeper 11" (only one class up from sitting with chickens)which didn't exist at that time. but it turned up about 10min before we left- coincidently 10 mins late too!) the station was packed and i noticed 2 boys rush past and my bag suddenly felt ALOT lighter! i checked around to see what had happened and my water bottle had been nicked... not a disaster (although it was one of those very nice shiny metal, camping ones) but made me feel quite vulnerable.

got on the train i'll try to list some of what we saw/happened...
... read some of my book (city of joy-slums kolkata) one of the first things one of the characters said was "what cant be helped has to be endured".. very wise i thought to my self (haven't developed the ability to think to others. shame)
...well went past all the slums and saw a cock fight!
...we became a bit of an attraction ourselves, sometime people would come right up to the window (and i mean right up!) and just stare at us for days on end (well a few mins but it felt like days).
...saw a pack of dogs eating a carcass of a cow!
...had a little boy come and make friends with me (fun for the first ten mins but by the time it was time to go to sleep and he was still jumping, punching and shouting WWE it started to get a little old)
...we enjoyed the wild and interesting ways that people managed to try get money from us (my favorite was at about 5 in the morning when two ladies (who looked quite rough with rather masculine voices may i add!) came up 'sang' about 2 words then walked over to ben woke him up and demanded money! never seen ben look so happy in his life. although they didn't then, apparently the normally hit you if you don't pay up! -hence why most around us seem to give)
...the scenery was actually amazing, just plains for miles with (women in the rice fields, children splashing in the lakes, villagers hauling in the fishing nets, water buffalo and they must have passed through a film set because there were alot of very biblical looking mud houses around-alot of good photos)
...the train is about the slowest thing since the internet in india. (sometimes it stops at stations for like an hour and then you'll leave and then it just randomly stops again! when we woke up after sleeping the train was traveling in the opposite direction for the day before!)
anyway was expecting the journey to be utter torture but wasn't too bad. bit of an adventure really, quite funny. was quite hot though (about 34 on ben's temperature thingy although i think it's a lies)

so before we came here we had spent our last week in almora with the girls. think this was quite a difficult time for them to be around such all round amazingly holy young men (our all round aura of excellence made them feel quite inadequate and rightly so.) but it was ok because of our amazing counseling skills we managed to make them feel a tad better. did i mention that we are actually ace (i can only say this because i know that it would take them about 4 days to get here and i know that they're both too lazy to spend that long on the train even if they did get the satisfaction of mutilating us)

but it was good fun and sad to leave...
stuff we did that week...
...did a sunday school type thing at a girls school who afterwards mobbed us and were asking for our autographs! (we'll mainly the girls to be honest, obviously not as bold as the girls in pithoragarh?)
...did 3 days of meetings with neil (pastor/assain/photographer/wise guru(chrstian) type) one of which lasted a day. another in which the guy came to turn the power on 1/2 hr. after it had started leaving me playing the drums on my own (the snare drum falling on the floor fairly frequently, well once but that enough!), with no lights, to songs in another language after i had just having some toilet problems which resulted from lunch time meal. had to laugh (was crying on the inside).
...went to nanital (lake, peddle boats etc.) everyone felt sick except for me and neil and abby and lucie well some people felt sick (remember they pack a lot of people in one car)
...realized that i'd got used to the near death experiences when i realised we had just overtaken a lorry around a blind corner, in the dark, with a sheer drop one side and hungry native cave people on the other (not really the cave people bit just didn't really know where that bit was headed?)

a bit about siliguri... we have 3 spiders in our bathroom (daddy-3 inch, mummy-2 1/2 and baby-1 inch?) and a lizard called brian/david/elizabeth (we haven't completely decided yet.)

anyway missing everyone...

thanks to the people who sent letters and far more importantly chocolate! did i mention how much i'm missing bacon??-worth a try!

have fun, lots of love Simon XXX

106 is not only the number of the house that i stayed in bristol (shoutout to the 106 massive) but also the number of mosi bites i have on my body (i have 14 on my right elbow alone) and yes i actually look diseased! luckily i've been taking my malaria tablets every day (it's a good job that i didn't forget this week, in all the moving etc, the very week i got eaten by mosi's-oh actually that's exactly what happened!)

we've had about 15,000 people tell us the quote julianne said so here's mine i think you'll find it far more profound and not nearly as common as John Ortenburg! (i read two of his books in one week here and i've never felt so bad abut myself in my life!) "it's not great men (or ladies) who change the world but weak men (or indeed women) in the hands of a great god" Oswald Chambers (i think)

also in some of the letters people said they'd had no news from the boys... if any one complains can you beat them for their incompetence (and then you could give them the address if you feel they've learnt their lesson. thankyou)

PS Almora girls: Songs of Songs doesn't actually exist!

PS the internet is very slow i think i may die, help, it's still 'loading'... (wrote this in notepad you see and then i'll paste it)

Also ben says can his mum send him some clean pants cos his have got massive holes in them. thanks

2 boxers

2005-02-23T14:33:00.000-08:00

hello,

highlights of this weeks... marriage proposals... preaching to the masses and 2 boxers (in complete matching green and red gear) at the side of the road in the depths of the mountains one holding the other upside down by his legs! surreal!

just a quick one today not really got alot of time... went to do my blog in the usual place yesterday but the computer broke after about 30mins and between 4 of us that's not alot of time... a tad annoying. in delhi in a week so gonna go on an email reading/writing marathon... (sorry for the delay!)
well done quite a lot since last time... went to pithorograth?!? for a few days which was hilly. quite funny josaph told me that they were going to some meetings and events 120miles away... so i stupidly asked if we were coming and he said "yes of course your speaking!" so ended up speaking (ben did the first night), playing drums, acting (complete with hindi) and then we prayed for people (who queued up to be prayed for by white people-not really a good reason... but i went well anyway) it was in about the most classic, whitewashed, tin roofed, 1900's girls shool i have ever seen (abit like stepping back in time) there were loads of people who turned up (about 150first night 200 the second) some people said that they had never been to a meeting like it which was quite cool.

ok well i said there was a marriage proposal... well almost. on the first night i knoticed that there was someone who kept staioring at me... told ben thought i was just wishful(?) thinking, so i ignored it. at the end she came up for prayer (with her mum) and told me all about her self so i prayed and that was that... the next day she was there again (with backup!) and sat right infront of the drums! (like a hunter stalking her prey) at the very end she came up again (to make the kill) she was talking about how she liked the drums and i told her that we were leaving tommorow she looked at her feet and then said "i have somthing to ask you... (long paws and pause-sorry such a dad joke) will you be my friend" so i said "(long pause looked at ben and back at her) err... yes?"

ok so you may be thinking well perhaps she just wanted to be your friend but when i spoke to joseph he laughed... for a very long time... and then told everyone else who all laughed too... then a few days later back at the church joseph told everyone else who all laughed aswell. i get the feeling this doesn't normally happen! (aparently that's bascially saying "will you marry me" they don't really have girlfriends or friends who are girls even) she went and asked pastor annan if she could have my address. he said no.

so anyway i'm bound by the verbal contract now so they'll be 5 of us coming home if that's ok? although we might pick up a few extras on the way. sorry you guys won't be there for the marriage, sacrifice, the eating of the tiny monkey, etc.

the trip there and back was quite exciting... i think the people who made the roads thoght that they'd make as many loops and curves as they could (and chuck in alot of bumps too) just for a laugh. then make the cliff roads single track. needless to say i felt quite sick and spent most of the journey panting and looking green out the back of the jeep (which did i mention contained 9 people-6 of us and the driver and his friend and his other friend- and all our equiptment, drums, keyboard, pa, etc)

the girls are here now which is cool... although they're always crying and then 30 seconds later they sing with joy (not really)

have to go now cos we've got to go back for lunch... i'll tell more later.

turned out to be quite a long one afterall. hope all is well in england/zambia or where ever you may be reading this.

lots of love Simon and his wife ( sadly i've forgotten her name! hardly the basis for a solid relationship) xxx

PS i assume all those valentines cards that were sent to me got lost in the post??? (i hold on to the hope!)

Eagles Wings (are very big you know)

2005-02-14T15:58:00.000-08:00

Hello,

it’s been one of those haven’t done a lot but have weeks this week. Much to ben’s amusement… been embarrassing my self a fair bit the last few days (think it’s got something to with the water…) I’m not gonna tell you what I’ve done that’s so embarrassing though. that’d defeat the object… if you send me an embarrassing story I’ll tell you one (or two or three) of mine… no fakes please I can tell… (ask about the multiple wife incident…)
went to do the talk at the leprosy mission hospital this morning at 9… (was told about it at 8 last night!) which when well but it’s was quite hard just because I felt like a bit of a tourist doing my “leprosy mission hospital” bit… apparently while we were away a monkey came in the house and scared sarah! Think it tried to steel her bread. got to ride on the back of joseph’s motorbike though which was fun.
Saw about 20-30 eagles on Sunday after church all flying around in the valley, which was mad! Apparently something had died and they were all coming in to eat it (I want to be eaten by eagles…!) we put some bread out (yes in england we feed the duck with bread, here they don’t have ducks so they have to settle for eagles) and watched for ages, then we went inside, about a minute later some told us they saw one come and eat it… oh well we’ll get it next time.
Thanks again to those who’ve emailed, really good to hear from people…

(no title submitted)

2005-02-11T14:51:00.000-08:00

hello,

well after last time we walked home in the rain (lots of rain). got home and i felt ill, went to bed slept very poorly then woke up at 6:30 to be sick everywhere. heard ben wake up at this point- he had decided that perhaps i liked to sit in the dark covered in my own vomit!-after some encouragement, in the shape of a giant axe, he helped eventually (there was no giant axe really but it sound more dramatic.)

all is well although we do miss england and being im our comfort zones (we decided yesterday that comfort zones are there for very good reasons) we're getting on well. been teaching english today which is a bit of a laugh... think i'll leave that one to ben.

love simon

PS pastor (yes pastor) joseph has been teaching us farting jokes...

Monkeys, Engagements and Thunder Too... (a stunning combination)

2005-02-07T17:01:00.000-08:00

WARNING: QUITE A LONG BLOG, GO GET A CUPPA, SIT DOWN OR GET SOMEONE ELSE TO READ IT AND TELL YOU ABOUT IT LATER.

greetings,

well it's raining again (i mean honestly you travel 1/2 way around the world!) they say it may be the coldest winter on record! which is ironic! (said through gritted teeth) just started to thunder too!

passed loads of monkeys on the way here today (when ever we see monkeys we get all excited- but to the locals it's a bit like getting excited about seeing rats! no offence to the rat population that may (or may not) be reading this)

we've got no banana's left because a monkey came in the house and stole them, someone left the door open whilst going to get chocolate! dunno who that was?? we also went to see the cage where they keep all the tigers that they catch (some of which eat people!) it was really good (although the cage would make a postage stamp look roomy!). as we were walking away the guy who took us (one of the evangelists) told us how there used to be a massive lion but it got out. which was nice.

we've eaten all the chocolate supplies in the local shop (we found some which wasn't grey. yay!) but we've just found out they sell it in the internet "cafe" (so you can be expecting alot more updates until the local shop is restocked) turns out chocolate is my major weakness (bit like superman and the kryptonite, except for all the strength and saving the world and stuff) funny cos i never really was that into chocolate before (maybe i'm pregnant- but probably not!)

went to an engagement party which was interesting. although saying that they didn't look all that happy about it! i think i'll give the whole arranged marriage thing a pass thanks (unless of course she has a spectacular amount of facial hair!)....

------oh dear it's just started to lightening too!------

was quite funny, after the party i walked in on ben having a very awkward conversation with joseph (pastor at the church) about what the couple did on their wedding night! oh the innocence!

did the talk at church on sunday which went surprisingly well (i would like to thank my note book and the joys of plagiarism) still drumming, they insist we learn a whole new set of 7 songs for every meeting! which is really great... yes great. ben did sunday school this week (we swap roles next week) he learnt that wink murder is not a game that should be played the hard way (as in thats the way he learnt it, not playing wink murder the hard way(although that could be quite interesting... "i'm afraid your daughters been involved a fatal winking incident"!), if that makes any sense at all?!) turns out that it's not a great thing to do over here, having boys winking at girls and vice versa.

todays been a normal day...
-up 2 minutes before our breakfast call (to pretend we've been up for ages!)
-reading
-sherly jumping on us for several hours (decided that my head could do with some jumping on this morning, and she actually bit some of my hair out the other day... lovely girl)
-followed by reading and being jumped on some more.

so for the most part all is good... few annoying things... we don't seem do be doing a vast amount most days... we don't have much freedom (replace the word 'much' with 'any') which we know is for our own good but can be a tad annoying...

other than that all is good (although ben's hair:brain ratio is looking slightly worrying at the moment and has resulted in some rather random comments-if you don't (which now i think of it you probably don't) know i cut my hair very short just before i came so my hair:brain ratio is looking quite healthy really! although i don't like to brag... but ok i will this one time)

good to get your emails, hope all is well,

Simon (and Ben who's sat here looking very bored)

burning shoe

2005-02-02T23:18:00.000-08:00

NOTE: wrote this two days ago but the rain caused the phone line to cut out so i had to save it and come back today. (actually came back yesterday too!)

hello, well it's been a little while (well ok 3 days!) but it turns out that there is no computer here afterall. "so how can you be on the internet" i hear you cry! indeed this is a good question. this is the 4th internet cafe we've been to and the best yet, indeed the only one with the internet (although it only has the one computer!).
so it's very cold here and ben has a cold to go with it (i got one about 30 seconds before our train left for almora, trust me an 8 hour train journey, a runny nose and 3 very thin tissues aren't the best combination! it's just dying off now) apparently it snowed the day before we came, would've been cool if we had seen it. it's raining today (indeed if someone told me that we were actually in an india themed theme park in birmingham then i'd probably believe them!) i set fire to my shoe yesterday trying to heat it on the electric fire... think i need new laces now! oh dear.
there hasn't been alot to do although i'm already playing drums with worship band. some how "i can play drums" translated into "i am the best drummer in the world, can play anything at any time with no practice" although saying that i played sunday and it went really well. on the subject of drumming the name josh in mentioned with amazing frequency (an international reputation!)
we've been fed like fat kings, ben is going to cook tonight (yes i'm very scared) sherly, 6 (joseph and sarah's daughter) has been using us as climbing frames/ punch bags and allround victims of her evil plans.
just found a supply of chocolate (although its grey, crumbly and ben found a hair of the common north indian factory rat in his-ok maybe i made that last bit up!), very happy about the find though.

hope all is well

lots of love, hugs, kisses, teddys, hearts, butterflies and pink fluffy hearts, Simon XOXOXOX

PS FUNNY STORY were waiting for the train the other day and there was a bloke next to us (in full robes and face paints) who was gently stroking his 4 foot rusty warrior axe. "ummm going to the station today. he must have thought 'got my ticket, money, robes... oh no almost forgot... my axe... what a nightmare that would've been if i forgot that!'

misty mountains

2005-02-02T00:16:00.000-08:00

not done much these past few days...

actually now i think of it we did move house (only i could forget that we moved!) although, i say 'we' they seem always to insist that we do nothing, when we did try our hardest to help they gave us very very very very small items like a single match or a feather. oh well at least it means i can indulge my favorite hobby doing nothing.

today got up and had curryed potato and some bread type stuff. had a bucket bath then went on the roof to read in the morning sun (still cold though) and watch the mist rise on the mountains... was having a very spritual "at one with nature?god is awsome type" moment... then sherly turned up to pull my ears and repeatedly head but me (i should really learn from this master!) then i came here (internet cafe) and now is now so i cant really say any more than this...

although i could tell you about the majical journey i take to the internet cafe... including 2 holy cows (with very large horns) 2 men with guns (very large, the macanical type), about 2 a dozen dogs sleeping (every thing in india is done in twos) and a man with an axe (there's always a man with an axe!)...

good to hear from all of you,

have fun, Simon x

Monkey

2005-01-27T01:14:00.000-08:00

day 2 in simon's big brother style diary...

played arm chair frisby in the morning. we were asked to take the boys in the bible school for a session (they say boys but most of them are between 18 and 28). when we walked in the room all 20 stood up! mad! so not wanting to intimidate them with our vast theological knowledge we took them outside and played childrens games. quite funny.

played the remember people's name game (turned out to be quite hard for us! oh dear). we had to say our names and our favorite animal and then eveybodies name and animal who had been before. my animal was monkey... although apparently it turns out it's a bit like calling yourself a rat over here! one the subject we were on pastor john and rosie's roof on sunday and i knoticed a man on the roof oppostie had turned up with a massive rifle (i say massive, it was probably normal size but for the sake of the story it can be massive) and then he started to stare at us. but when i asked about it later turns out he was just having a nice sunday afternoon monkey shoot! anyway back on the subject of games i, not on purpose at all, decided to go first and ben went last and had to remember everything! wohaha! get the feeling he'll get me back for that.
we also played a frisby game a bit like basket ball...

just watched the fimbles dubbed in hindi... awsome...

hope all is well, Simon

The story so far...

2005-01-26T15:20:00.000-08:00

a long time ago (about a week)
in a land far far away (india)
mr simon (and his four hobbit travelling buddies)
landed in india...

so this is what's happen since then...

yesterday zoe, ben and i (have to use correct grammar because my mum may read this!) came back from gwalior on the train. for the whole 6 hours there was a guy in our train who was asking us loads of quesions(we kept our answers vague), when he found out we were from england he told us that he didn't like england and then proceeded to get quite passionate and tell us off for going to war with iraq!(oh dear!) we all just started reading and he did stop eventually. a little later ben and i were laughing and he told us that "people in delhi don't like britainians and if we laugh like that they will put chairs on us" (needless to say it was quite hard to keep a straight face for fear of people putting chairs on us!)

we left the girls in gwalior (an experiment to see if they could survive, plus there was the small fact that they where scheduled to stay there for two more weeks) we had a really fun few days there, we went to a cell meeting which was really amazing (they had all different casts there which apparently is quite a big deal) they gave us those flower necklace things! bit jealous of the girls staying there...

so last night we went with pastor jay and lizzie somebody’s house on the other side of delhi so jay could pray for blessing for their new born baby. it slightly confused me because they had turbans although jay said they when to his church, turns out it's a cultural thing they do (in the Punjab region) although Sikhs don't cut their hair and wear turbans they've taken it from the culture rather than the other way around. ate more good food (i am genuinely surprised that i really like the food) on the way home we had to wait in a massive queue on the 5 and a half lane road(don't ask!) because they were checking the traffic for terrorists.

it's republic day here in india so there is a big parade in the centre of delhi(dancing people, floats and big guns! always a good mix i find), so it's impossible to do anything, so today we (me and ben) finally got a chance to have some rest and sort out everything that needed sorting.
zoe left this morning back for england which came as a bit of a shock as she wasn't meant to be leaving until 7 this evening (she found out the plans had changed at breakfast and had to dash to get the plane)

tomorrow we're off to almora (in the foothills of the mountains) apparently there's been 6 inches of snow there and we may see tigers! bit mad... thanks to the people who've sent emails
(remember you will be judged to the people who haven't)

thinking of you all...

simon x